


That One (Literal) Goddess-Spawned Plan

by E2Kiquis (orphan_account)



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Comedy, Crack Fanfic, Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), One Shot, There is nothing to be taken seriously haha, They have a plan, prepare for a certain Rat, the goddesses are here, this is from my sleep-deprived brain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23706781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/E2Kiquis
Summary: The three goddesses come together to form a plan. It must be one with the least interference with the Spirits of Courage but also aid their final battle with the threat, which is soon. And they’ve come to a conclusion, but about one Spirit of Courage in particular...(Or,)Farore sighed again, rubbing her eyes to help ease the pressure building up in her head.“...To give him an element he already so strongly wields is quite a risk, though. Especially for this one. But if we must, if this is the only way to defeat thatCucco-damnedDark Link, then I accept.“
Comments: 11
Kudos: 82





	That One (Literal) Goddess-Spawned Plan

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning: Some slightly strong language use**
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I don’t own Linked Universe, which is owned by the Jojo56830, the goddess and creator of said fandom. I also definitely don’t own The Legend of Zelda, which is owned by Nintendo.

“...Are you sure that this is the best and _only choice_ , Nayru?”

The three goddesses sat in their respective seats amongst a rounded picnic table, which happened to be covered with a tablecloth of little golden Triforces and floppy green hat embroideries—which was Hylia’s idea of decor, to Din’s grimace—and discussed the new Shadow threat causing chaos throughout the universe. The topic being in overall stark contrast with the surrounding area of graceful trees, their leaves softly stirring whispers to the early glow of dawn.

“Positive,” Nayru replied, placing her teacup down in front of her, “If the Spirits of Courage are to defeat such a powerful force, they shall need to have, at most, one of the Spirit’s reincarnations have an immense power of an element for at least the approximate time span of ten minutes during the final battle in order for any hope to dispatch the threat.”

Farore brought her pointer finger and thumb to pinch the bridge of her nose, breathing out a long exhale. They didn’t know this one the way _she_ does. 

“You don’t know this one the way I do,” She said aloud, voicing her exact thoughts, “He is already immensely powerful, as is. And to give him the element he already has, but so much stronger...I just don’t know, Nayru. That’s too much power—“

“Oh how bad could it be, Farore!” Din interrupted, bringing an arm around the slightly smaller goddess, which was a bit awkward because she had to hover off her chair to do so, “Isn’t that exactly what they need in the first place?” A dangerous light flared in the amber eyes of the goddess, a kind of light which made mountains turn to sand and kingdoms submerge in the dark currents of an ocean just to hide from it. 

“More power to conquer their enemies?” 

Farore stifled a loud groan, placing her honeyed tea to her lips, as if hoping to find an answer to all her problems by doing so.

Sadly, the honey did not have the answer. And Farore would be concerned if it did, anyways.

“Okay.”

Din blinked, slowly sliding herself back to her chair. The silence was interrupted with the creaking of wood for a long, insufferable ten seconds.

“What?” 

“You heard me,” Farore sighed, setting her tea down under the two baffled gazes. “If this is what we must do, than so be it.”

“Wow, did you think she’d agree that easy?” Din questioned. Nayru, who was facing her, had the same shocked expression painted on her face, but with eyes staring unseeingly at the folds of tablecloth bunched up around Farore’s teacup. 

“...I could see her walls crack under the power of wisdom, but that was much faster than even _I_ could perceive.”

“Girls,” Farore interrupted, bringing the goddesses back to attention on the more important matter at hand, “I know what that... _specific _Spirit of Courage is like, he’s apart of me as much as the spirits you look after are apart of you,”__

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The two other goddesses thoughtfully nod at this between sips of tea, 

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“And I also know that this Spirit is a veteran in the arts of all things powerful, and knows first hand of the powers elements are able to possess.” 

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“...To give him an element he already so strongly wields is quite a risk, though. Especially for this one. But if we must, if this is the only way to defeat that _Cucco-damned_ Dark Link, then I accept.” 

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Nayru nodded in agreement, materializing a small spoon into existence to better stir her milky tea, “I admire your words of courage, Farore.” 

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“Here, here for Farore’s new record of agreeing on something!” Din grinned, raising her teacup in the air and catching the faint glow of morning light. 

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“On **one** condition,” Farore griped over the clinking of Nayru and Din’s cups, “If I, in the end, was right all along, then I _will_ get to—“ 

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“—Say ‘told yah so’ if everything falls down the Cucco hole, am I right?” Din barked with an eye-roll of the century. 

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“No,” Farore interrupted, causing Din’s grin to falter, “That I will get the last Doritos bag before the world ends.” 

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“Damn...” Din muttered and leaned back in her chair, the wood creaking under the weight of the pouting goddess. 

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“Now _that‘s_ what I perceived would happen, Din,” Nayru sighed, tracing her cerulean blue gaze over one of the green floppy hats embroidered on the table cloth, “It is unlike Farore to end a respectful argument without a win of sorts.” 

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Din murmured under her breath an incoherent string of words, then rested her chin on the backs of her hands, glaring, “Alright, Farore. Nayru, you better not be wrong with this idea. I was looking forward to some cheesy Doritos before the world we made fades out of existence.” 

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Nayru shot Din a Look, “It _won‘t_ ” 

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The tallest of them stood up defiantly under the glare of the other, a silent size up happening between the two. The pinkish glow of early morning dripping through the canopy of leaves was nothing compared to the fierce light in the flickering eyes of two stubborn goddesses. Farore, gathering up all the courage she can muster, slowly stood up with them and interrupted the stand off with a loud cough. 

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“Alright guys, shall we summon the Spirit of Courage labeled Legend?” 

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The two goddesses broke their eye contact, bringing to full attention the matter of importance. 

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“We must do it while he dreams,” Nayru reminded her, “Is he asleep?” 

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Farore briefly closed her eyes, bringing the image of Reality in her vision, and confirmed it with a nod. 

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“Summon the rat, my good sister,” Din cackled. 

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Farore lashed a fiery glare at the goddess, though not denying the truth of that sentence, and stiffly walked a few steps away from their picnic table, her long green dress softly swaying with each step. With palms up, she raised her hands to the thin outlines of the overhanging branches scraping the sky. A green glow bursted to life and flickered around the form of the goddess. Din and Nayru rose their palms up in unison next to her, aura’s of deep crimson and azure to accompany Farore’s forest green. 

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And the rat was, indeed, summoned. 

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“...The hell. Can I please have normal dreams, like, at least _once_?” 

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“Where you stand is most definitely not hell,” Nayru quipped, bringing a stern gaze to the glowering one of the veteran. “It’s quite contrary to that, actually.” 

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“Well it’s definitely not heaven, either,” Legend spat. He was just having an amazing dream of flying overseas with a fairly beautiful seagull singing beside him, their wings in perfect unison to the soft waves below, when a flash of light ripped him from the sky and plopped him here. Sure, Legend thought the scenery was beautiful where that mystery light had up and dropped him to, but nothing could compare to the beauty of _her_ singing. And frankly, he didn’t want the one actual happy dream he had in months to be interrupted by three random glowing ladies in a forest, quite understandably. 

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In other words, Legend was _not_ in a great mood at the moment. 

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“Can I go back to my better dream, now?” 

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Din’s let out a muffled snort, which was immediately followed up by another glare from Farore. 

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Then Farore started her prepared speech, “Spirit of Courage, you are here for an important reason on behalf of the goddesses. You and your companions draw closer to the Final Battle, and we wish to aid you in the smallest way we can without breaking the Laws of Ninte—“ 

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An arm lashed out, hitting Farore square in the face and forcing her to stumble back in blinded pain, almost tripping on her dress. 

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“What the actual _HECK,_ Nayru!?” 

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“Do you know what you could have _caused_ ?” Nayru hissed, pulling Farore closer by her arm, 

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“ _Never talk about the Laws._ ” 

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Din, not being able to withstand the building tension anymore, began to cackle like a banshee. 

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Farore raised a palm to her aching, now bruising forehead, _this is failing miserably._

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Meanwhile, Legend crossed his arms, looking more peeved than Farore has ever seen one of her Spirits of Courage. 

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“I am sorry for her outburst,” Farore sighed, folding her hands in front of her in an attempt to maintain some last resemblance of authority-like posture, and began her speech once again, 

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“Spirit of Courage, Link, or your respectively-dubbed name Legend, you have been chosen by us goddesses Din, Nayru, and I, Farore, to have a great element of power lie dormant in you until the time of the Final Battle takes place—“ 

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“—In which,” Nayru quickly interceded, seeing the absolute perfect impression of a cat being forced, hissing, into water on Legend’s face, “You have _no_ choice but to take part in, and it can _only_ be you for the specific reason of—“ 

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“—Hold up,” Legend seethed, marching over to Nayru, no reverence found for the goddess who now reflected on her sister’s words before, “I did _not_ ask for any damn element of power in me, and frankly, will _not_ have it and do _not_ want any of that shit.” With a burning glare of cobalt blue, Legend stomped a foot firmly right in front of the two goddesses, making Nayru flinch slightly. 

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“I will _not_ be used by the likes of your kind again, _goddesses be damned_ , and I stand to that.” 

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A roaring guffawing from Din shattered the cold tension, making the three of them jump and turn to face her, almost giving themselves a whiplash in the process. 

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“This,“ Din breathed between her mouthful of cheesy popcorn and cackles, then swallowing, “By the love of all floppy hats, Farore, you were completely right about him. He’s a rat!” 

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“ _Excuse_ me?” 

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At that moment, Legend’s face could rival that of a tomato’s and win, if his scowl didn’t make it wither to a soup first. 

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“Spirit of Courage,” Farore quickly spoke, bringing the goddesses back, more or less, to the more important matter at hand once again, “It can only be you because you, and only you, are the _only_ Spirit of Courage who has the element already so strongly rooted in their lifestyle—“ 

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A loud snort from Din was heard. 

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“—We are only going to imbue more power into the element in you for you and your companion’s fight with the Dark Link. This is the absolute only way to conquer the foe and save the universe.” 

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A long, drawn-out sigh came from the veteran as he slowly pulled a hand down his face. He needed a break. 

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“And _what,_ ” Legend sighed, exasperation seeping into the seams of his voice, “is this said element?” 

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An insufferable silence followed those words, dragging out for an immense amount of time. 

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Then, the sound of a bag having a hand ever-so-slowly pulled out of it. And something being _ever_ -so-slowly crunched in following. 

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“Sodium Chloride.” 

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Din choked on a popcorn kernel. 

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“...You’re telling me that now I’m freakin’ _assigned_ to back-talk Dark Link?”

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**Author's Note:**

> I accept all helpful-criticism comments. Thanks for reading!!
> 
> Bonus:
> 
> “If Dark Link doesn’t die in fifteen minutes, you are legally allowed to leave,” added Nayru.
> 
> “...Can I _please_ just go back to my other dream.”


End file.
